On this journey, I am doing a lot of introspection. Taking an inventory on my life and you know. I realize that I’ve been angry for a very long time. I have had a lot of things transpire in the short 26 years of my life and I have not let a lot of things go. Simply because I don’t know how, I think for a long time I didn’t have a voice or a choice in matters concerning me, So I kept things to myself and bottled up my feelings and it became a habit, even when I had a choice or a say. Those memories/events has helped in shaping my thinking, my speaking and essentially my being. While I like me, I don’t like all of me at this point.
Because of the things I have been through, how people have hurt me and took me for granted, I tend to stay away from people and I like to be in control of my life, If I feel out of control, I get anxious and frustrated. I don’t do change well, unfortunately. I don’t like people in my business or personal items. I love my alone time but while people may categorize this as normal, I have it bad and It is time for me to change, to do better, to ultimately be better. The bible says to be angry and sin not but I often sin lol! I am not perfect but I am grateful to be on this journey of holistic health.
I don’t know how to do that but I am willing. It has affected me and mine for far too long. I will continue to pray about it, I am taking the steps for me to best me ever..