To me, I didn’t have a regular childhood or adulthood (so far) for that matter. I feel like I have had to endure things that should have broken me. Those who know me or my story, I should say, always tell me I am strong, I am super all the while feeling so very weak.
While growing up, I have kept a lot inside, dealing with things on my own, which is not causing me success presently but hey, I AM A WORK IN PROGRESS. I want to stop crying, because to me, while advising everyone else that crying was good, feel so weak when I cry. I feel like those who hurt me have the upper-hand, that I am just weak.
I have been going through a lot lately, all the ly’s and I have been crying a lot. Overwhelmed and just there. I feel like a zombie sometime. Most times I just don’t want to be bothered with anyone. I post pretty pictures on FB but lemme tell ya now, pictures lie. I smile ever so lovely but the inner turmoil is just too much.
I rely on my faith to get me through things but sometimes I feel like it is NOT enough, sometimes I just neglect praying, or reading my bible because at times I feel like me uttering words is not going to do anything. I wanna take on the whole peace, love, light blah blah blah positivity movement but what the heck, I don’t feel that way either LOL. Don’t get me wrong, It may be working for others BUT I am just all up in my feelin’s these days.
Anywhoo. I guess these set of posts are transparency at its best. This journey ain’t easy but stay tuned. This may just get better yet! (was that hope speaking?) LOl, look at God!