I hate it- Day 56

So I took a break from blogging and yeah I know I have been inconsistent but I feel a bit blah or whatever. I am tired and have so many things going on. I feel like I need a 1 month hiatus from regular scheduling or a retreat just to get myself back in tune.

As I have mentioned and I back to square one and I am discouraged as ever and with that I have been eating just a tad too much of whatever the hell I want. See, here is the thing. This morning I concluded that I hate exercising and hate eating properly because it is too restricted but then I again I hate having a bulging tummy. This morning I swear while reflecting on this challenge, I heard ever so clear “it’s either or”. Basically I cannot have my cake and eat it too.

I have lost all motivation to keep working out at home but then I cannot afford the gym at this time so what the hell am I to do. The struggle is real. All these restrictions and limitations and sometimes I just wanna scream.

I think I am taking the rest of the week off to get myself together. I said the new challenge is to lose 10 pounds by somewhere in August (I really cannot remember) and I will try again because I don’t like to lose or fail but right now I need newness, something to motivate me to get up and get. I really don’t wanna work out at home anymore. I liked it before but right now I just cannot do it anymore.

I had a long weekend (Easter Weekend) for the most part, it was good, ups and downs but for the most part good. However, I feel drained! Mentally, emotionally, physically etc etc etc etc etc etc etc and I am sleeping okay. I guess when your mind is not at rest, then your rest would not be restful lol.

I have choir practice tonight and I have no idea what I am eating before hand. My schedule contributed to my failure I believe. I need to do some revamping.

Y’all I am open to suggestions, tips and whatever. Feel free to share.

I love you for reading!♥


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